lost.

fear

confusion

doubt

insecurity

disappointment

guilt

i have had these feelings stirring in my spirit for some time now. i've come to a place where i can't see straight and i feel lost. lost in a fog of lies. i'm tired of letting these untruths get me down. i've realized how easy it is for me to listen to the lies. and before i realize it they have taken residence in me. they have become what i think about and they start to become all i know. the lord has brought me to this place for a reason. the good news is the seasons are changing and the fog is lifting. i am what God says i am regardless of how i feel about myself. my feelings cannot change the absolute truth of God’s word.

TRUTH

john 1:12 i am a child of god

romans 5:1 i have been justified

1 corinthians 6:17 i have been bought with a price and i belong to god

1 corinthians 12:27 i am a member of christ's body

psalm 16:8 i cannot be shaken

ephesians 1:3-8 i have been chosen by god and adopted as his child

colossians 1: 13-14 i have been redeemed and forgiven

colossians 2: 9-10 i am complete in christ

hebrews 4: 14-16 i have direct access to the throne of grace through jesus

romans 8: 1-2 i am free from condemnation

romans 8:28 i am assured that god works for my good in all circumstances

romans 8: 31-39 i cannot be separated from the love of god

romans 6: 14 i am free from sins power by gods grace

2 corinthians 1: 21-22 i have been established, annointed and sealed by god

philippians 1:6 i am confident that god will complete the good work he started in me

philippians 3: 20 i am a citizen of heaven

the greatest love of all

i sing just to worship you. i wake up in the morning to worship you. the blood you shed on the cross was for me. thank you jesus.

as i sit in akosombo on the front porch of my friend’s house drinking my instant coffee my brain is full. i watch as school children walk to school in their uniforms of brown and yellow. some have shoes on, some don't. many have walked miles to get here. they pass me with a look of wonder on their beautiful faces. they stare at me until i wave, then they wave happily and run off giggling. the school they attend is a public school and therefore free. the kids need only wear a uniform. this might not sound like a big deal, but this simple reason is what prevents many children from attending school.

we went out and met them on the road. an instant crowd!

we went and visited their school

look at this beautiful little man ♥

they love having their pictures taken

chasing us down the road as we left...its hard to say bye to them...

men and women walk by on their way to work with goods atop their heads. i suppose they are on their way to the market to sell whatever occupies the perfectly balanced baskets. they are walking with children strapped to their backs and as they pass they notice me and wave timidly. i think they are happy to see me, but also probably wondering what i’m doing here.

young man carrying water back to his house. for most its a really long walk just for water.

an older lady carrying sticks on her head

im assuming a mama and her son going to sell

the house i’m staying in is at the bottom of the mountain and the weather is so amazing. there is a breeze that comes from the north down the mountain. it brings along with it the smells of africa. smells i don't even know how to describe. if you've even been here you know exactly what im talking about. they are amazing smells. when im not in africa i miss them. sometimes when im home in texas, i can close my eyes, imagine real hard then i can smell it. it makes me happy, really happy. they say smell is the biggest memory recall. i love the way africa smells. every time i step off the plane here in ghana, i ALWAYS have the biggest smile on my face. its as if this place is telling me "welcome home"

john fanning the fire under our dinner

alvin (whose house we stayed in) taking his turn :)

and my turn, but only for a few fans :)

the dream in my heart plays in my mind as i sit here. i imagine a place that’s mine. a house with many rooms and enough love to be shared among many. i see children laughing and running around. i see no beginning and no end. i see love pouring out of me like a fountain into the children. love that only comes from jesus. a heart like his to be shared among the people.

“fear is lost in all you are. and i would give the world to tell your story, because i know that you’ve called me. i lost myself within your promise and i wont hide it. jesus i believe in you and i would go to the ends of the earth for you. all the world will see that you are god." (hillsong lyrics) this song is my heart.

bittersweet

the end of the school year is always bittersweet. everyone is ready for the summer and holidays...but its so hard saying bye to the kids. even though i know ill see most of them again in a few months, its not the same because next year they wont be mine.

ive had the most incredible year with these kids. i truly love each and every one of them and sometimes wish they were mine. they are all so different and unique in their own ways. each one is precious to me. they are not the same kids they were when we met in august. what an amazing opportunity god has given me to be able to pour into these children in ghana. i think ive learned more from them then they have from me. what a blessing my job is.

my sweet first graders

word to yo mutha

my girls are so loving and sweet

i love you ♥

coming from the public schools to a christian school was hard for me to get used to at first. i would forget to pray with the kids, and they would have to remind me to do prayer requests...ect. after spending 10 months with these kids learning and growing them in jesus has been incredible. they have taught me so much about having a relationship with jesus. the youngest in my class is just 6 and her relationship with christ is who she is. its all she knows. she lives, breathes and sleeps god. this is because of how she is raised at home. it is the influence of her god fearing parents. its incredible. many times these kids would encourage me in ways i never knew was possible from a child. they would tell me don't to be anxious, that god knows my heart. that all i have to do is pray and it will be done. that god brought me to ghana for them and for a purpose. the things that have come from these children's hearts has really been a like nothing ive ever experienced. ive never known kids like this. so all that to say, im sad to say goodbye... i wish i could keep them forever. what they have taught me will forever be a part of who i am.

i praise you jesus because you know me, you know all things. you created me. i will serve you forever. may my life reflect you and your glory. give me eyes so i can see people as you see them and give me a heart like yours for this broken world.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

gingerbread in may

my kids wanted to make gingerbread houses for christmas. 5 months later and here we are making them! better late than never right?!? it was really fun, but super messy. i enlisted the help of two of our high school girls.

busy working with graham crackers straight from texas packed in my suitcase.

home made frosting made by a really sweet parent.

he wanted my help. you know i couldn't help myself. his nose was begging to be frosted :)

the two high school ladies had too much fun!

now, that is a good gingerbread house! who says it cant be christmas in may :)

dogs...

i LOVE having dogs. i mean, i really love it. they always love you. they are always excited to see you. you cant help but be happy even if you've had the worst day ever.

these are my ghana dogs. (all loyalty to kai and oski) the big yellow one is anoma (pronounced just like it looks) its twi for the word bird. bird is my favorite english word, so it seemed appropriate. the little white one is yovo. its what they call white people in the country of benin

anyways, so yovo and anoma are always getting into some kind of trouble. last week is was a rat, a few weeks before it was a pigeon. sunday it was a lizard. this time i had my camera ready for the action. i felt bad for the lizard, but it was really too funny to not capture.

* if you are a lizard lover please don't scroll down (haaaa) sorry!

they were in a standoff. it was really funny. anoma would smell it, then the lizard would try and bite the her and run off.....never a good idea to run from a dog.

yovo got involved. he was a little scared of the lizard but couldn't stay out of the action. he would freak out and want to smell it, then when the lizard would move, he'd freak out and head straight to the door....looking back while running....HAAAA

anoma has the lizard in her mouth and im trying to get it. now i really feel bad for the lizard. too late though...

EWWWWW...sorry for the awful face. i couldn't believe i was holding the lizard. but i didn't want the dogs to eat it so i put him outside the gate in the grass. the next morning he was flat like a pancake in the road. poor lizard. he did not win this battle.

mountains that move

ive been praying for faith that can move mountains. africans have a faith that actually moves mountains. its incredible. those of you that know me, have heard me say this many times. im blown away at their simple faith. i find myself wishing i were more like them.

im going home aril 15th for 3 weeks to help take care of my mom. shes having a serious surgery, and i have to be here for her. as many of you know its super expensive to travel round trip from west africa. usually runs me about 17-1800 a time. its not everyday that i can afford a ticket home. yes, i have a job here, but they only pay me a stipend. its nothing really. most of the teachers here raise additional support, but not me. so, i knew that i needed to come home and i knew i didn't really have the money. i felt the lord asking me to test him and watch his faithfulness. ive raised money before and its not hard for me to ask people to help me. its biblical and i find that many people are willing to help.

...but this time i was sensing a different direction. i felt the lord telling me to ask it from him and trust in him to provide. we can all so easily put our faith in each other, as clearly im struggling with. i find myself putting my faith in man instead of him quite a bit. im always praying for more faith and trust. so i started praying, serious praying and journeling. asking the lord to provide the money i needed to come home. asking him to put me on someones heart and that person would give without me asking. and do you know what happened. ive been praying this for about 5 or so weeks...and yesterday a substantial amount of money came to my parents house for me. from and friend out of the blue. someone who knows the direction of my life and just wanted to bless me. WHAT?!?! i started balling my eyes out when my dad told me yesterday. its like i felt the lord telling me "i told you" i was so blessed and convicted at the same time. why did i doubt him?? seriously, wow, i have such little faith, and i was straight blown away by the faithfulness of the lord. its one thing to receive money when you've asked for it. its another to blindly put your faith in the lord and trust that he will provide. and he does and he will time and time again. yall, i URGE you to put your faith and trust and hope in him. its the most incredible rewarding thing you will ever do. our lives are not ours, and we are meant to live for the lord, not ourselves. the bible is serious and literal, not to be taken lightly.

we were created to bring glory to his name and show people the love of christ. when i find myself in a season of wandering i have to refocus my vision. i have to refocus on the kingdom. and remember that all things in this life will soon pass away, and when i refocus my priority to kingdom focused i remember how serious it is. more serious than we see it.

the blessing i received form the lord thru this person grew my faith. the lord will bless this person greatly i know. and it makes me praise god for this persons willing spirit. it makes me wonder how may times im prompted by the lord to talk or give to someone and it goes undone. i try all the time to be in tune with the spirits prompting, so i can also be used to bless people. nothing that i have is truly mine. the longer im here the harder it is for me to save money, because of the need so many other people have. why would i keep it in a drawer when i can help someone today? i urge you to listen to the lords prompting in your life. a simple cup of coffee, a dinner or even a friendly conversation might be the biggest blessing you can offer to someones day. we are to be a light in this world...now go shine jesus on people.

i am obediently following him by being here in ghana and i will do whatever it takes to be in the center of his will for my life. even though it looks crazy its the best life ever. people ask me, cant i just teach in texas and help people there....and yeah i could, for sure....but that's not what the lord has for me right now. right now he has me in this incredible place in west africa, where the faith of these people moves mountains. and right now, there is no place id rather be.

everything i have and everything i am is his. total surrender. period. my life is his. nothing in this life is greater than a relationship with christ. if you don't have it, please seek him. allow him to be your all. there is no other way.

thanks for listening to me i hope you are blessed and encouraged. now, go be a light!

the love project

saturday as part of the love project we traveled to akosombo to take clothes and food to the villagers of akosombo. we distributed tons of clothes donated by the students at my school. what a great way to show the love of jesus. providing for peoples basic needs.

all the stuff the students collected

the mountains in akosombo. its so beautiful here!

a few of the village houses

a few of us handing out books and clothes

sweet children

i found a friend :)

a man who had just come from the fields

now he has some good church shoes and clothes

and another friend. they are not hard to find :)

this is my heart melting

a mom and dad with their new baby, olivia

the road in akosombo. its so gorgeous, the picture doesn't do it justice!

the kids were running after us....

part of the farming village

shari and i

john giving this lady a little plastic potty so her baby can use that instead of the ground

i found my number 8!!!

walking home after they got some clothes

this picture speaks for itself

the idea that jesus came to earth to die for me and take all my pain and all my suffering on himself is unfathomable...and when i think about that and i think about what he did for me, i cant imagine being anywhere else in the world. because he died for me, the least i can do is serve him with my life. fear of the lord is important and when i die and im in front of him and he asks me what did i do with what he gave me, i hope to tell him i used what he gave me. i will forever serve him and love his people. this is what he created me for.

the things we have in this world will not go with us, but the souls of people will. we were created to bring glory to god and worship him. we were created to love people more than we love ourselves, and to show the love of jesus. to care for people who don't have food and cant provide for themselves. to love people. its really simple. love people more than we love ourselves.

being in akosombo rejuvenated my heart and my spirit. these people are incredible. africa is such an amazing continent, its hard to put into words. i wish all of you could experience it.

fix our eyes on not what is seen, but what is unseen. for what is seen in temporary but what is unseen in eternal. 2 corinthians 4:18